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June 01 PQI Intelligent Drive i810 2Gb
Smallest USB flash drive in the world (they claim it to be). ~NTD500 Poisonous SundayAlmost every Sunday I feel like I've been poisoned.
My eye bags feel thick.
My breaths are shallow.
Everything around moves quickly and the air is heavy.
Maybe I am indeed poisoned, secretly by my housemates into my drinks every Sunday.
Maybe it's Sunday blues, moved earlier from Monday. May 22 A Blackish WhiteIf you jump too early, you'll hit the next arrow before the rhythm.
If you jump too late, you'll not hit it.
If you try to be simple, you'll be too complex for it.
If you try to be complex, you're just being too simple.
If you don't care, you'll have too much of yourself to lose.
If you care too much, you'll slowly lose yourself, bit by bit, bit by bit. November 10 Paths
IF <I got drunk in the toilet @ INight 2004> IF <I did not meet XXX> ... ELSE IF <I met XXX> ... Graduation ... PR ... Campos ... Wilson ... X <== NOW ELSE I did not get laughed at until now, I won lottery then Nobel Prize (Peace), ... <== DID NOT HAPPEN, BUT ... ... I won't know what would've happened after I became rich and famous anyway.
Make the most unregretable choice at the time, and look back only to learn from mistakes. There is nothing we could have done now anyway, so torture yourself for making wrong choices so that you will NOT repeat the same mistake twice. May 28 Who switched my coffee?Mccafe's coffee is not bad. They call it EspressoPronto.
As you can see from the name, it's not just any coffee. It was said that they use the same beans as Starbucks, and they actually taste better. I can confirm that this is possible for some branches as I have tried long blacks from both stores in a week.
However this McDonald at Sydney airport makes bad long black(s) (in case it was only mine that's bad). My sister told me she saw them poured those sitting-still brewed coffee into my cup (which is not a proper long black at all).
Well, I don't want to just pour away, that would be a waste. And bad coffee works particularly well for a hangover-ed stomach from champagne.
And I sent them off, my family. Knowing that I have now officially taken off for my own journey.
And I had another sip...
It is definitely not the same coffee I was holding before I sent them off, I am certain of it.
Because it is now honey sweet.
Maybe Hiro was here, playing a joke on a stranger.
April 11 A grain of truth
It's been a while. Since my last entry, big and small things had happened to me, just like everyone else. As usual, big things are always made small and small things are made big, in order to fit all into this fixed size (in terms of time and space) of me. For instance, there was this incident of one of my family's dog gone berserk bit a Malay and disappeared, a search party was formed. 4 hours later, the search was ended by a combination of a wet Malay motorist + hazard light + hope + rain, and two thumbs up from my freind and I for the Malay motorist. For instance, me at the back of my friend's motorcycle at 1 past midnight on the streets following the MRT tracks looking for Bukit Batok, with the ezlink card from last year in my wallet, $7.63 credit left. For instance, risking Carpal Tunnel Syndrome smashing the hell out of Orochi, with a quickly cooling down cup of Lipton black label (with 2 teaspoon of sugar and 50mL of milk) beside my leg waiting to be knocked and spilled all over the carpet any minute. Earth hour was a good idea. Though I can imagine - "What's the use of it? You think this really can help global warming?"; "What's there to see, it's dark."; "Come loh, let's go take picture when it's dark!"; "Earth hour?". I guess, there's a grain of truth in everything, pick your own for your own beach. It was one new experience, looking at the harbour bridge and opera house with the aid of moonlight, especially in a full moon night. How nice.
September 17 90 minutes past midnightI want to have a coffee now, but I know I shouldn't, because it's 1:30 am.
I want to break out of my glass door and jump over the balcony, but I know I would break my left hand again, and get some ugly scars on my face (for breaking the glass door like a hero), and it's 1:30 am.
I want to pretend I'm a kid, drink a cup of hot milk then go to sleep, but I know i'll get stomachache and end up feeling angry (for pretending to be a kid).
I want to DDR Paranoiac (Rebirth Mix) now, but I don't have a dance pad/dance station at home, and it's 1:30 am, arcade must be closed now.
I want to blast Eason's 一切還好, but I'm not sure about my neighbour's taste of music, especially at 1:30 am.
I want to rip my coronary artery out to see if it's blue black, but there's a bloody rib cage blocking, and it's 1:30 am, there are less people in the emergency room now.
I guess I should just go and sleep. September 07 PoolYeah, those were the good old days. When I was in high school, my friends and I sometimes skip the useless afternoon or evening SPM tuition classes =p, and went to this "kowzone snooker centre" 高进桌球中心, spent our time and money playing snooker, gambling on the horse-racing-slot-machines (it was banned later and is still now, back home). I didn't really gamble a lot (it's true!), since my luck and I have a mutual understanding - that we have to live together in peace, although some of us did try to calculate the "ultimate betting technique" to outsmart the person who created the machine, ha ha, and failed, miserably. Somewhere in the middle I became my friend's apprentice, or maybe more like a person to bully on the table. (Just because he stays beside a snooker centre) 100 pts, 200 pts ahead of me every game we finished, until my confidence was afraid of the black ball. After lots and lots of sessions, I had my first victory against him. Hence I graduated, lol. Yeah, those were the good old days. IH pool room, that's where we - the IH pool kakis spent our time after lunches and dinners. It was so much time until it was nearly a 4 credit points subject. Looking forward to our next game guys! Where are ya, James? We still owe each other a final! September 05 What kind of future we have?Yesterday Steve Irwin died. Stingray's barb went thru his chest and as a result, his heart punctured and lead to cardiac arrest. His popularity kinda surprised me. Or should I say the speed of the news spread. (A rather complete tribute from a friend, if you are interested http://dodgyeddie.spaces.live.com/)
Nowadays information and knowledge is really at the tip of your finger, literally. Within few hours everyone started IM me about his news, then one by one the nicknames on my MSN list has a (tu) prefix. I knew it has to do with him, and probably someone started this whole thing, you know, "hey let's pay him a tribute by putting something on our nick". It happened before, it was a rose, I can't remember for what.
Anyway, my curiousity was strong enough to push me over the bump to search for the relation of a turtle with him. Easy enough first hit of Google educated me a new species of turtle named after him. (See, 53 seconds - 3 seconds to search and load, 48 seconds to search for "turtle" and read the paragraph, 0.2 to digest the information in my brain after reading, and 1.8 to sip my coffee, not in chronological order)
(I still remember back in high school, my friends and I were always watching canto drama after dinner at home. Sometimes when we see this actor/actress who we cannot identify, that sort of "hey she's from that whats-the-name-of-it movie" "damn it it's at the edge of my brain" moments, we will call each other during the commercial break for the answer. If no one knows, then we'll all have to sleep with an unsolved mystery, then ask other classmates in school the second day. No such problems now, having access to the internet.)
Then today I found this piece of information on www.mess.be:
"Many of you will have probably already heard about the unforseen death of Australian TV personality Steve Irwin after being struck in the chest by a stingray's barb. Fans of "The Crocodile Hunter" have added a (tu) prefix (the turtle emoticon) to their Messenger names in memorial of the naturalist who has a species of turtle named after him: Elseya Irwini."
"It might be hard to believe, but we actually found the two people who started this whole "Messenger chain nickname" thing. It were longtime Messer Laser_iCE and his buddy anth who sent the original message to 20-30 of their contacts, only to come back eight hours later and find over 100 of their contacts had added the prefix. Viral IM at full power! Laser_iCE told us in a chat that he wasn't even aware of the turtle species named after Mr. Irwin, "it just was the closest thing to a reptile that the emoticons had! It was either that or a sheep, haha.""
Eight hours? It can be a matter of minutes if you deduct all the chatting between what, millions of people in between the "torch-passing", or less. That was scary. Imagine if it was a computer virus (not scary?), that can wipe your hard disk(s) clean and blow up your monitors (now?).
Imagine if it was a human virus, spreadable by digital/analogue signals?
Which is what Stephen King's latest novel Cell is talking about. A signal that can wipe out human brains, left with only violence. Within minutes, everyone with a reachable cell phone is affected, gone.
Quite scary yeh.
Anyway, I thought that the coincidence of him picking the turtle emoticon without knowing the relevance of it was quite a nice thing. September 04 Container TheoryWoah, it's been a while. Was working on a flash site, but I realized it is not going to be version 1 any time soon, so meanwhile I still continue to post stuff back here, as recently the thirst of knowledge input and knowledge sharing once again hit me. It always troubles me, not being able to share things much faster than I understand them, or reach a realization on them. I'm not emphasizing how fast I understand and realize things, but how eager I want to share them with people. For what I know, I might be just making a small matters big. Yet, I trully believe, small things in our lives sometimes mean a lot.
"Seems to me that the only challenge that we have, is everyday life."
Read a book recently. It says, to protect yourself from sadness. first you must disable yourself from feeling happy. It reminds me of the container theory that I have drafted. It is only a theory, and it is not perfected yet. So please don't pick bones from inside the egg.
Our emotions and feelings, 七情六欲, are kept in this container. The shape, size and volume of the container differs among each individual. Its contents act like an amplifier from what we received with our senses, to what we feel inside. There's a daily input of emotions and feelings from ourselves. So its contents will kinda increase by itself.
If the container is in perfect condition, i.e. there is no leakage, day by day the contents increase, eventually it'll be full, or even spill over. Remember the contents are like an amplifier? Now, a person with a full or overspilling container, is more prone to his/her own feelings. This is when he/she is easy to get depression, or fall in love, etc, because everything felt is amplified.
Daily disposal of the contents is very important. Keep it level at a safe mark. However sometimes I like to let it fill up. That's when I will get all irrational and think out of the box.
When you have a relationship with someone special (when you can share your feelings), both of you will have an extra outlet connected to each other's container. Daily exchange of contents (none of that sort... whatever sort you are thinking about, ahem) will explain the exotic feelings you have everyday in the morning you wake up when you are engaged in a romantic relationship.
If it is not mutual, say it is one way, there is not input but only your output to that person everyday, eventually you container will be empty, and you'll be emptied out too. That also explains why it is so suffering, frustrated and exhausted to have feelings for someone and not able to confess them out.
Finally, if the special relationship is damaged or broken, the person will suffer leakage, because the connector has broken, or leaking. Depending on the level of depth in the relationship (it is often different among the two, although they are in the same relationship), the location of the outlet (also the inlet) of the container which connects the person to the his/her partner will be different. The deeper he/she is, the lower the connector is. Which also means he/she will leak more of the contents out during the break up.
This is when you feel whatever happen to the world or to you is none of your business anymore, because you have just lost your amplifier.
And I'm sorry, I don't know what the container is made of, therefore I cannot tell you how to mend it back. Try alcohol. June 08 MergeAll the thoughts, views, directions and realizations have started to integrate.
About damn time;};!
WTH is this -------^
My god... May 31 COB - Circle of Benefitswhich one out of the four is your type? which type do you want to become? The Last Stand (spoiler ahead)Regardless of how bad the logic is, probably worse to X-Men comics followers, but wolverine's flesh-ripping pain when the cold adamantium claws went through phoenix that itself, is enough. May 23 I know I can that's why I can't<boiling water> "Oh shit, rent is due 2 days later."
Sometimes suddenly somethings hit me, both of them, together, at the same time, while I am doing something.
<taking out empty cup> "Hm, bread is running out too."
Both of them are equally important, so I made a mental note to myself, when I'm done with what I am doing, I will deal with it. Basically the note looks like this in my mind:
<opening cupboard> "2 things to do later."
1) Pay rent
2) Buy bread
(yes, they are equally important to me)
If things end here, then it'll be great, but noooo...
<taking out Lipton teabag and sugar>
"What if I forget one of them?" "Hm, it's possible." "OK, let's emphasize the weaker one again, so that I can remember" "Definitely will remember to pay rent right? Therefore buy bread must be the weaker one."
<waiting for water to boil>
"OK, must remember buy bread." "Remember to buy bread later." "I'll do it after class I guess." "Don't know today bread has a discount or not." "If not tomorrow 3 of us nothing to eat for breakfast." "REMEMBER to buy bread." "Must remem
*tak*
"Yeah, here comes my tea."
<a while later>
"What the... what was the 1st thing that I was gonna remind myself?!!" May 19 The Devil6 sandwiches in a turkish bread...
6 fried daces with salted black beans...
6 ducks in the pond...
today, a devil grows wings. |
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